wasup?!

The experience I've had in Africa thus far has been largely experiential. I can't really remember a time in my Christian life where the Bible has seemeed so silent, and where God has seemed so contemplative, choosing rather to lean back on His throne and observe me rather than blatantly reveal Himself. The experience is not the easiest, but it is challenging.

I just finished reading Romans 5:3-5; We also boast of our troubles, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance brings God's approval, and His approval creates hope. This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out His love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God's gift to us. (GNB)

The word translated 'troubles' here is the Greek word thlipsis which can also be accurately translated as 'pressure'. When God is not speaking to us as loudly and clearly as we would like, there seems to be a certain pressure to make sure we're really in His will and doing exactly what He wants us to be doing. Yet the promises that this pressure will yield a harvest of endurance --> approval --> hope. And the hope all comes back to the promise of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It all comes back to intimacy, and connecting to the thing that we already have.

A friend posed a question to one of the staff here in Pemba recently: "If you didn't know what you were supposed to do next and you asked God and He said, 'I don't care. What do you want to do?' What would you do?" It's a valid question. So many times we wait on God, while He's waiting on us.

In my time here in Pemba it feels like instead of God telling me what to do, He's walking beside me and I'm just following Him. No words are necessary, just relying on Him to guide. Trusting in the Holy Spirit and the ultimate promise of God that was fulfilled on Pentecost.

I said earlier that this was largely experiential. I mean that I've been finding out lots about myself and who God has created me to be. It has been an awakening of sorts. One that is crucial in the development of future opportunities. New vision, dreams, game plans, etc are arising inside me. How do I specifically and individually advance the Kingdom in the most effective and efficient way, without falling victim to the "needs" of the ministry. No one should ever minister out of "need", you must always minister out of "love" and "desire". Theirin is your joy, your steadfastness in hard times, your unending perseverance. Whoever said, "Find a need, and then meet it" probably got burnt out pretty quick if that "need" wasn't something they were totally passionate about. There will always be need, no amount of working and striving will eliminate it. We need to follow the Lamb wherever He leads us, wherever that may be. That is what I'm learning in Africa right now. Just to be. Not to stress, but just to follow. As a leaf being carried downstream, so am I.