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St Francis of Assisi's 'Canticle of Love'

Love of loves, why have you so wounded me? My heart, torn from its dwelling, is consumed with love.
It is on fire, it burns, it finds no resting place, it cannot flee because it is chained up. It is consumed like wax in the fire. Dying it lives. Its languor is sweet, it prays for power to escape for a while and finds itself in the middle of a furnace. Alas, where will this terrible faintness lead me? The burning heat of this fire so stifles me that it is death to live like this.
Before making trial of it, I prayed to Christ asking for his love. I thought that I would find sweetness in his love and that I would delight in his gentle peace so much that no worries would be able to trouble me. But I experienced a torment that I could never have imagined. The heat breaks my heart. I cannot describe how I suffer. I am dying of sweetness and I live deprived of my heart.
My heart wounded by divine love, is no longer my own. I have no judgement, no will, no ability to enjoy myself or sense of feeling. All beauty seems to be like mud and delights and riches are perdition. A tree of love, laden with fruit, is planted in my heart and nourishes me. It transforms me so much that it expels my self-will, intelligence and strength.
I have entirely renounced both the world and myself in order to buy love. If I owned all creation I would gladly trade that for love. But I find that love has deceived me. I have given everything and yet I do not know where I am being drawn to. Love has destroyed me. I am looked at as if I am mad, and because I have been sold, I am no longer worth anything.
The world and the friends who are outside this realm of love tried to bring me back to them. But the person who has once given himself cannot give himself a second time. The servant cannot be the master. A stone will become more soft quickly than love will stop holding me. My complete will is burnt up with love, is united to it, transformed into it and consumed by it.
I shall not be separated from love either by fire or sword. It is impossible to divide this union. Suffering and death cannot rise to the height to which love lures me. Outside this union all created things are restless and through it the soul is raised above everything. O my soul, through what happy chance do you possess such blessings? They come to you from Christ. Therefore embrace him with sweetness.
I am unable to look at any creature without my whole soul praising the creator. Neither heaven no earth holds anything dear to me. Everything is swept away by the love of Christ. The sun’s light seems dark when I behold Christ’s dazzling face. The cherubim, who excel in knowledge, and the seraphim who excel in love both lose their beauty for the person who sees the Lord.
Let no one reproach me if such a love makes me mad. No heart is capable of defending itself or fleeing from these chains of love. Can you imagine a heart not suffering and breaking in such a furnace? Oh, if I could only find a soul to understand me, to take pity on me and know all my heart’s anguish!
Heaven and earth, and all creation cries out to me that I must love. Everything says to me, ‘With all thy heart love the Love which loves thee, love the Love which desires thee, and has created thee to draw thee wholly to himself’ Therefore I desire never to stop drawing on this holy light and this ineffable goodness which is spread around.
If I was able to love more I would, but my heart can love no more. Clearly, I cannot give more than myself, even if I desire to give more than that. I have given everything to possess this Lover who has made a new man of me since I found him. O goodness old and always new, immense Light whose splendour is so sweet!
At the sight of so much beauty I am transported outside myself without knowing where I am being taken to. My heart softens like melted wax and Christ’s form is traced on it. Never before has such a change come over me. I have stripped myself to be clothed in Christ. My heart is transformed and its cry is love. My soul is consumed with heavenly delights. My happily chained soul rushes to the embrace of the Well-beloved. The more my soul beholds Christ’s beauty the more it is beside itself. Rich in Christ it loses everything in him. It no longer recalls anything about itself. It no longer strives to gain anything at all, it is incapable of losing anything and it no longer feels anything.
Transformed in Christ it has almost become Christ. United to God it is entirely divine. God’s magnificent riches surpass all grandeur. Christ reigns supreme in the soul. Can I therefore remain sad and beg a remedy for my faults? I no longer possess an abyss full of sin in me. The old man is dead and has been robbed of all his impurities.
In Christ a new creature is born. The old man is taken away and I have become a new man. But love is so strong that it is as if my heart is split in two by a sword. This fire consumes my soul and my mind. In his beauty, Christ completely allures me. I am on fire when I see him. I utter a cry of love, ‘O Love, the height of my desire, let me die of love!’
For thee, O Love, I waste and languish, I go about uttering cries and seeking thy kisses. When you go my life becomes death and I sigh and pine to find thee. When thou returnest my heart enlarges because in thee it can be entirely transformed. Then delay no more, O Love; be mindful of me, thou holdest me in chains, consume my heart.
Sweet love, consider my trouble. I can bear such ardour no longer. Love has taken possession of me. I no longer know where I am and I no longer know what I am saying or doing. I travel along the road like a lost man. I collapse exhausted from languor. I do not know how to bear such torment. The grief it gives me has ravished my heart.
My heart is enraptured, and I can no longer see that I have to do or what I have not to do. People who observe me ask if a love without deeds can please thee, O Christ. If it does not please you what can I do? My heart is worn out with abundance of Christ’s love. Love, which enfolds me, takes away all action and all initiative. I lose all sense of feeling.
Before, I knew how to speak; now, I am dumb. Before, I could see; now, I am blind. There has never been such a great capture. I am silent, and I speak; I fly, and I am chained; I fall, and I am raised up; I hold, and I am held. All at the same moment I am inside and outside; I pursue and I am pursued. Insensate Love, why dost thou make me mad, why dost thou kill me in such a raging furnace?

Christ
Control your love, you who love me. There is no virtue without order. Since you desire so much to find me renew your soul through virtue. I truly wish that you could call upon me as you love me, although your love must be disciplined. The tree is known by the goodness of its fruit. Law presides everything and gives everything its value.
Everything that I have made has harmony and proportion and is ordained to a particular end. Order guards them. Charity, more than any other virtue, naturally wants to be regulated. Are you, O soul, by your ardour, being foolish? Your fervour is not curbed because it has no control on it.

The soul
O Christ, you have ravished my heart, and you say to my soul ‘Control your love!’ Since I am transformed into you how is it possible for me to master myself. As the iron turns red in the fire and as in the translucent air the sun’s rays lose their form and assume another shape, so is the pure soul entirely transformed with your love.
Since it has love its own virtue it is powerless to act by itself. It becomes this because of its virtue. These are the deeds and fruits it produces. If then it is transformed into your truth and yourself alone, O Christ, whom it is so sweet to love, it is to you and not to myself that my deeds must be imputed. If I cease to please you, O Love, it is because you are no longer pleasing to yourself.
If it is true that I am mad, O supreme Wisdom, that fault is yours. It dates from the day when you wounded me and I made a pact with Love. My self has been taken away and I am clothed in you. I do not know how I was drawn to a new life. I was in utter dejection but love has made me strong. The gates are broken down and I live with you, O Love.
Why have you led me into such a furnace if it is your will that I should keep within bounds? In giving yourself to me without measure you have taken all measure from me. Since I am small you fully satisfy me and as you are great I cannot possess you any more. If this is foolishness, O Love, it comes from you and not from me. You, O Love, have directed me along this path.
You have not forbidden yourself to love. It was love that made you come from heaven to earth, O Love, you showed that you did not think of yourself. In everything, O Love, you showed that you did not think of yourself. At the door of the temple you cried, ‘Let him who has suffered the thirst of love, come and drink; he shall be given a boundless love which will satisfy and console him.’
Wisdom has not prevented you from ceaselessly spreading your love abroad. To save us, O incarnate love, you were born of love and not of flesh. To inflame us with love you went to the cross. When you did not defend yourself before Pilate it was in order to bring about our redemption on the cross of love.
I see that wisdom hid itself and love alone was visible. Power no longer showed itself and strength ceased to give pleasure. The love which poured itself out in this way was great. In his look and in his heart were no other thoughts than loving sentiments. As love was bound on the cross so mankind was embraced by an immense love.
O Jesus, I am so full of love and inebriated with so much sweetness. So who can blame me or reproach me if I live like a madman without any will, feeling or strength? Love has constrained you and robbed you of all your majesty. So who then can prevent me from going mad to embrace you, O my love?
This love which has made me mad really seems to have taken wisdom from you. This love in which I languish has deprived you of all power because of me. I am a captive to love and can resist no longer. The decree has gone out that I shall die of Love. I do not want any other consolation than to die of Love.
Love, Love who has so wounded me, I can only utter one cry, ’Love!’ I am united to you by love and love embraces you in me. Love, Love, who has so wounded me, my heart grows weaker and weaker with love. I am absorbed in you, O Love. Let me abide with you and in your goodness let me die of love.
Love, Love, O Jesus, I am reaching the haven. Love, Love, O Jesus, receive me. Love, Love, O Jesus, come to my help. It is love, love for Jesus which inflames me thus. Love, Love, O Jesus, I am dying of love, let me be near you. O Love, embrace me always; transform me into yourself, O Love, into truth, into supreme charity.
Love, Love, it is the cry of the whole world. Love, Love, it is the cry of everything. Love, Love, such is your depth, that the more one is bound to you the more one desires you. Love, Love, you are the circle that surrounds my heart, he who possesses you love you for ever. You are my food and my clothing. The person who loves you is so happy to possess you, to feel your presence, that he cries unceasingly, ’ Love!’
Love, Love, you make me suffer so much that I cannot bear it any longer. Love, Love, you have such dominion over me. Transform me into yourself. Love, sweet languor; Love, my desire; Love, my delight bind me with love.
Love, Love, my heart is broken and is seriously wounded. Love, draw me towards your beauty as I am ravished by you. Love, Love, do not disdain me as you are my life. Oh, do not forsake me as you have made me faint with love.
In this anguish of Love, Love, Love, O my adorable Jesus, I would die while embracing you, O Jesus, my sweet spouse. Love, Love, I beg for death from you; O pitying Jesus receive me and transform me into thyself. Remember that I am passing away killing myself with love. I do not know where I am, Jesus, my hope, destroy me with love.

Mercy Triumphs Over Judgment (by Kris Vallotton)

It’s been said that God does nothing in the affairs of men except they pray. Prayer is the catalyst for worldwide transformation. Prayer incites the angels, restrains darkness, and releases nations into their destiny. Prayer is the key to revival, building bridges between what should be and what will be.

The devil also knows the power of prayer and he understands that he can’t stop us from praying. But he is the master of deception and he tries to convince us that his destructive schemes are “acts of God” so Believers will not release the arsenal of Heaven against him! Unfortunately, satan has been more successful at deceiving the saints recently than he has for decades. One of the ways he has shrewdly crept into our society is by convincing the Church that it is our responsibility to release the wrath of God against sinners. This authorizes the dethroned prince of darkness to kill, steal and destroy while we stand aside applauding the demise of these ravaged people. To make matters worse, this evil prince frames the Lord of Redemption for his crimes, poisoning the people of His passion, which causes many of them to reject His wedding invitation. Meanwhile, those who have been empowered to police this property lack discernment and assist these angels of light in their killing spree.

The Reemerging Of The Doomsday Prophets

In the last decade the “Doomsday” prophets seemed to have come out of hibernation. In 1997, my own parents moved out of the San Francisco Bay Area to avoid the wrath of a great earthquake prophesied to strike southern California. This quake was going to destroy Hollywood for its immoral pollution of the media and San Francisco for its homosexual perversion. The word also predicted that northern California would become “ocean front property.”

My mom and dad relocated from the Bay Area to Lake Tahoe near Nevada, hoping to find a prophetic “no-fly” zone. Just about the time my folks got settled, several prophets began to prophesy about an upcoming international famine. This became known around the world as the “Y2K bug.” This bug was going to judge us for making our intellect a god. It was the perfect “God Scheme.” The whole plan was to be hidden by our foolish confidence in man’s brilliance. It seemed that the Lord had blinded every computer nerd in the world, keeping them from discovering too soon that we would all be starving over the lack of a digit. What a way to go! There would be rioting in the streets; people would be fighting off the temptation to cannibalize their neighbors and children! Businesses and governments would crumble next. Some even predicted this would start the “Mother of all Wars.” People streamed in mass to buy generators and guns to protect their food in the “Name of the Lord.” Needless to say, these preparations proved to be pointless, and my parents are still driving for hours to reach the ocean.

September 11, 2001 will forever be branded in the minds of Americans as a monument to murder. America woke up to the sounds of people screaming, many of them on fire as they exited the black smoke of a man-made hell. Explosions could be heard in the background as buildings crumbled and thousands were trapped in would-be tombs. Weeping and wailing were heard for miles as people wandered aimlessly through the streets looking for their loved ones. Many jumped to their death from these flaming infernos. Deep sadness and fear blanketed the whole earth as the news spread. Everywhere, people were crying out for mercy for those who were still counted among the missing. People were glued to their TV sets, praying, hoping and believing that life would emerge from the rubble.

Although the “Prophets of Doom” had not prophesied this disaster, declarations of darkness began to emerge from what was supposed to be the “House of Hope.” Before we could ask ourselves why such a mindless act of horror would be perpetrated on the lives of the many innocent who died that day, numerous Prophets began to proclaim that this terrorist attack was God’s judgment for the sins of our nation. Their thesis was that God was angry over the abortion, homosexual, and pornography issues, so he decided to kill a bunch of people to make His point. Can you imagine the grief that beset those who had lost loved ones and were now being confronted by an angry God who wanted to kill more people? This attitude reminds me of something Jesus said, "In the last days the love of many will grow cold" (Matthew 24:12.)

Slow Learners

It seems that many of God’s Prophets are slow learners as a whole new wave of prophetic judgments are being released over San Francisco, Northern California and Hollywood again. These judgments are predicated on a huge misunderstanding of New Testament prophetic ministry in the Church today. The Church needs to realize that the crucifixion of Jesus fulfilled the Law and the Prophets! We need to stop doing for the devil what he can’t do for himself!

Let’s take a look at the goal of New Testament ministry and means of achieving it according to the Apostle Paul. He wrote:

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17-21.)

Two things come to light in these passages: number one, New Testament ministry is the “ministry of reconciliation”. And number two, the way God reconciles people to Himself is by “not counting their trespasses against them!” In the Old Testament the primary role of the Prophet was to decree judgments for national transgressions because sin required judgment under the Law. But in the New Testament, the crucifixion of Christ paid the price that judgment required, thereby fulfilling justice and ultimately releasing mercy to millions of sinners who didn’t deserve it (people like you and me, for instance).

A Violent Act Of Grace

It never seems to dawn on some Believers that we didn’t get into the Kingdom through our works but through His (Christ’s). Sinners who discipline themselves into good behavior are still sinners who are in need of a savior. No one can behave their way into Heaven! Trying to get into Heaven through disciplined behavior is called self-righteousness and it is ugly to God!

Jesus said, “The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John; since that time the gospel of the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it (Luke 16:16). The Law said, “You can’t come into the Kingdom because you haven’t kept all the rules!” The Prophets continued the same theme, proclaiming judgments on the world for their (our) wickedness. But then, suddenly, something amazing happened; unrighteous people began turning the Cross of Christ into a battering ram and through a violent act of grace they forced their way into the Kingdom!

Shaking Out The Salt

Jesus told us, “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men" (Matthew 5:13). In Jesus’ day, they didn’t have refrigerators to store their food. Salt was the primary means by which they preserved their meat and poultry. Through this analogy, the Lord is teaching us that the Church is the element in society that preserves the culture from the wrath of God and the destruction of evil forces. A great example of this is Joseph, who released a corporate blessing through his righteous life. His presence in Egypt caused the Israelites and the Egyptians to be spared from a worldwide famine.

Jesus also said that when salt becomes tasteless, it is not good for anything except to be walked on by men. In other words, the people of that day would taste the salt and if it was no longer salty, they knew that it would not keep their food from spoiling. It’s important to remember that Jesus is not really talking about preserving meat, but describing the Body of Christ. So what does it mean to become tasteless? It implies that we have stopped preserving the world. You can tell when the Church has become tasteless because we begin to prophesy against the people we are supposed to be preserving.

Re-Presenting Christ

Not only is the Church preservation (salt), but we are also revelation (light). In the book of Matthew Jesus said, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden” (Matthew 5:14.) What does it mean to be light, and what is it that we are illuminating? We are shedding light on the nature of God; how He thinks and acts in the affairs of men. We are the revelation of the Father and His love letter to the world. We re-present Christ to the lost. The world looks to us to understand world events through the eyes of God. When we misrepresent our Heavenly Father, the world gets a warped perspective of God.

James and John are a good example of how many misrepresent God. The “Sons of Thunder” wanted to call fire down to consume a city, but Jesus said to them, “You don’t know what spirit you are of" (Luke 9:54-55.) It is interesting to me that this was this same John who wrote to the Beloved and exhorted us, “Not to believe every spirit, but to test the spirits to see if they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (I John 4:1.) I imagine that he received the revelation that even Jesus’ own apostles could be influenced by hell through his own experience of listening to the wrong spirit.

Notice how his exhortation continues in the same chapter: “Beloved, let us love one another . . . There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love” (John 4:18.) These verses were written in the context of testing the spirits. In other words, we test the spirits by examining them in light of the virtues of love. When we read love’s virtues that are spelled out in the letter to the Corinthians, and understand that fear has no place in love, we find ourselves wondering what spirit is encouraging these judgment prophecies. The greatest tragedy is that the revelation the world receives from these voices causes them to believe that our Father is an angry God who is looking for an opportunity to punish people.

The apostle John laid his head on the chest of Christ and was transformed from an angry, “son of thunder” into John the beloved. It is time for the prophets of God to lay their head on the Master's chest and hear the heart beat of Heaven again.

Jesus said, “If the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness” (Matthew 6:23)! If we are the light of the world and we are speaking against the people who are already lost in night, how great is the darkness! In the same way, when we represent God as someone who wants to destroy America because forty million babies have been aborted in our country, we perpetuate the very problem that we are trying to cure. People are killing their babies because they don’t know or understand the love of the Father. Does it make sense that we tell people that God is so angry that we are killing our young that He is going to teach us a lesson by killing a bunch more people? Is our Father so single-dimensional in His being that He only has one response to anything man does wrong?

Can you imagine the negative impact it would have on your daughter if she came to you to tell you that she had an abortion, and in response you flipped out and tried to kill her? If you reacted out of rage, I would suggest that your lack of love is a large part of her decision to have the abortion in the first place.

When we reveal God to the world, it is essential that we communicate light, life and love. Love doesn’t punish or create fear. I personally don’t believe that God is mad at sinners. I do think that He is grieved over the world’s destructive behavior. But grief and anger are not the same thing.

Love Requires Free Choice

Every time we see the heartless acts of destruction that deeply wound the heart of God, we must remember the depths of God’s desire to share love. The nature of love is that it requires us to be able to choose. If God took away our choice, people could only behave in the way that God programmed them to. Wars would cease, hunger would end, and poverty would only be an ancient memory. But the desperate cry of the human heart that beats with passion for a loving relationship with the most beautiful Being in the entire universe would be gone too.

Day after day, a loving Creator looks down on a broken planet longing for the day when the object of His affection will walk hand in hand with Him into indescribable beauty in the halls of eternity. In the meantime, the destruction continues, not because God is angry with man, but rather because men choose to kill, steal and destroy. This is the fruit of those who have chosen the wrong lover (satan).

Meanwhile, a hateful enemy is stalking a wounded and desperate people. He is seeking to paralyze us with fear, demoralize us with his arrogant boasts of destructive predictions, and harden us with hopelessness. Yet still, the future belongs to those who pray. Prayer is the bridge between what should be and what will be. The diligent prayer of a righteous people will ultimately determine the destiny of our children. Therefore, it is our responsibility to leave to those yet to be born a world in revival as their inheritance. Hanging in the balance of eternity is the ultimate climax of our Creator – the kingdoms of this world becoming the Kingdom of our God.

Scandalous Jesus (by Major Chick Yuill)

			There is no doubt that Jesus was scandalous, particularly to the religious people of his day. Religious people are easily scandalized. Since Jesus’ birth, there have been all sorts of suspicions about the nature of his conception. His origins in the backwater, one-horse town of Nazareth prompted some to ask: “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” We know about the company Jesus kept: tax collectors, prostitutes and undesirables, people caught in the very act of sin. He told scandalous stories that turned the received wisdom of religion up on its head; stories that put the most religious people in their place; stories that announced God’s love wasn’t simply a reward for the good but was offered unconditionally to the damaged and the morally and spiritually indifferent. His miracles so scandalized that on one occasion, after casting the demons out of a poor, oppressed man, the authorities accused Jesus of providing deliverance by the very power of Satan. His claim to be the Son of God was also scandalous. He said it in symbolic action as he rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, announcing himself to be the coming King. He said it in an act of political resistance when he cleansed the temple and cast out the traders who preyed on the poor and prevented them from reaching God. His death between two thieves was scandalous in the extreme—who could believe in a crucified Messiah? The disciples made a whole series of scandalous claims: the tomb was empty, Jesus was alive. Jesus was scandalous. We’ve known it since childhood, but it seems to make very little difference to us. It has had little impact on the Church. Ministering from the “Ghetto” One thing that has characterized the Church and even The Salvation Army in my lifetime is that we have ministered from the safety of the Christian “ghetto.” I know we have been concerned about the world, but it has tended to be from the security of our ecclesiastical islands, the safety of our organizational strongholds and the comfort of our culturally gated communities. Tony Campolo commented two years ago at the first SAROOTS: “If the 1950s ever come back, The Salvation Army is ready for it.” At Extreme, an Army event in California, Campolo said: “The trouble with The Salvation Army is you’ve got a ‘field of dreams’ theology.” Remember the Kevin Costner movie Field of Dreams? “You think, ‘If we build it, they will come.’ So you build and you facilitate and you program and you wait for people to come. Jesus never told you to do that. Jesus said ‘go.’ ” I suggest to you that the weakness of our position is expressed in the question we have asked for most of our lifetime: “How do we get people to come to church?” The answer is most of them won’t. And I can’t blame them, because they have to come on our terms, at our times, to listen to our teaching and our testimonies, in our buildings, in our culture. Of all the promises that Jesus made, I wonder if the one he most regrets is “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Be honest, you’ve sat in some meetings feeling as though you’ve lost the will to live. The Son of God has to turn up at every one of them! And I have to honestly ask myself why a decent self-respecting sinner, who’s had a fun Saturday evening, should get up on a Sunday morning to come to some of the services that we do. The serious truth is that the Christian Church in the West has become increasingly marginalized, discounted and dismissed, even by those who are spiritually hungry and who are turning to almost any “ism” and philosophy to find satisfaction. So much of what we have done has been working from the safety of the “ghetto.” Now that is not being entirely fair to The Salvation Army. I’ve exaggerated the position. Despite our tendency to minister from the ghetto, we have a proud record of service to the community and we are rightly respected for it. There’s nothing wrong with being grateful for serving in an Army that has served people of every class, race and creed in the name of Jesus. Thank God we do embody a global caring Jesus. Delivering service to the community is a necessary expression of the Gospel, but it is not the very essence of the Gospel. That’s why I am glad that we are finally developing a strategy for mission. We’ve begun to realize that the question we’ve asked: “How do we get people to come to church?” is pointless. We have begun to ask: “How do we take the church and, more importantly, the Lord of the church, to people?” We have begun to realize that even a postmodern world that has lost its trust in reason and seems lacking in traditional morality is a world that is hungry for spirituality. A Strategy for Mission There has to be a paradigm shift in what our leaders deliver to us. The old paradigm was that we expected a leader to pastor the flock. We even wrote it into our regulations?18 hours of home visitation a week. It’s a good thing to be a shepherd of the flock, though I fear that too often we became sheepdogs, running after people, rather than shepherds. Yes, there is a need for pastoral care, but that need is to be shared by the whole community and cannot be delivered by one leader. In the old paradigm, we wanted officers to preach a good word, however, most of the time we expected them to be a resident holy person who preached a nice, little homily that made us feel blessed but wouldn’t actually disturb us. We wanted them to preside over the rites of passage—births, marriages and deaths—and to preserve denominational tradition: “He’s a good officer because he uses The Song Book.” There’s still a place for all of those things, but today we need leaders of a different hue. We need leaders who will become skilled in mission, who will build bridges into the community, who will understand the culture in which we live and will become masters of spiritual commerce, who are able to speak to a spiritually hungry people with a language and in concepts that they understand. That has to be our strategy for mission. In Chronicles, when all the tribes of Israel rallied to King David, they came in their thousands, apart from the men of Issachar, who numbered only a few hundred. These men of Issachar “understood the times and knew what Israel should do” (1 Chronicles 12:32). We need leaders at the territorial, divisional and local level who will understand the times, and discern God’s will for the Army. We need to raise up and release that kind of leader. We need to become the church beyond the Church, less concerned with our denominational traditions and more concerned than ever with the possibility of reaching and rescuing a dying world. Telling the Story We are just beginning to become a church that understands how to explain the story of the Gospel. I believe in absolute truth, that some things are true and some things are false. But I’ve learned that there’s no point in talking like that to a postmodern world that no longer trusts reason and rationality. I was invited to represent The Salvation Army in a media program on prostitution in Manchester, U.K. We were scheduled to arrive an hour early so we could talk with the producer. When I got there, I was fascinated by the mixed group of people. There was a woman whose daughter had been murdered while working as a prostitute, two girls from Amsterdam who worked in the red-light district, psychologists by the score and three girls, whose appearance immediately betrayed that they earned their living on the streets. When they set up for the program, they sat me beside a Christian woman from an aid agency and an Anglican canon. I knew what the producers were looking for. They wanted us to shout moralistic, condemnatory truths, and I wasn’t going to be set up. I told the producer: “I don’t want to sit beside these religious people. I’d like to sit nearer the girls.” And I did. During the program, I said: “I belong to a part of the Christian Church that longs to create a society where no girl is forced into prostitution because of a drug habit or poverty. I want to make a better world in which prostitution will not be necessary.” At the end of the program, they said: “We didn’t expect a Christian to say that.” The time has come for us to live out the story of Jesus. Yes, there’s a time to speak in condemnation, but we need to be telling the love of Jesus. It’s time to tell stories?stories of how God deals with us, stories of how the Gospel intersects and interacts with and transforms our story. In the movie Amistad African slaves are thrown into prison in America. They don’t read any English, but find an illustrated Bible and flip through the pages. They see pictures of Jesus with the children, healing the sick and pinned on the cross, and they say to each other: “This man’s story is like ours. He suffered unjustly.” And the story of Jesus begins to make sense of their story. There is only one story that will make sense of the world in which we live. It is the story of the cross. We’ve got to tell it. The world will not listen to our absolute truth, our well-reasoned theological arguments, but it can’t resist a story. Brian MacLaren, in his book Truth on the Other Side, writes: “In the modern world, we could wield a proposition like a sword and a concept like a hammer. In the postmodern world we have to hold a mystery like a lover and a story like a child.” While in Russia at a Salvation Army camp, I met a rock group who were impressed with the Gospel. They asked all sorts of questions. One of them told my wife, Margaret, that he couldn’t explain it, but there was something about Christians that is like little children. He had no idea that he was echoing the words of Jesus: “Unless you change and become like little children …” The world needs people with the simplicity of childhood. I told a funny story the other day and a child said to me: “Tell that story again.” We’ve got to become the kind of people to whom the world may say: “Tell me that story again.” We’ve got to learn how to “gossip the Gospel.” The Scandal of Grace We will be transformed when we start to live out the scandal of grace. The thread that held the ministry of Jesus together was grace. Jesus was scandalous because he is the complete embodiment and fullest expression of the grace of God. By his life, death and resurrection, he says to us: “God loves the world unconditionally, even at its worst. And God loves you, even at your worst.” God demonstrates that love not from a distance, not from the safety of Heaven, not from the majesty of a celestial throne, but from the straw and the stench of a cattle shed, from the hustle and bustle of an ordinary home, from the sawdust and shavings of a carpenter’s bench, from the stern of a boat in the midst of a storm, from the dusty roads of a Galilean countryside, from crowded marketplaces of villages and ultimately from the cross on a hillside outside of Jerusalem. The life of Jesus was not primarily one of religious devotion; it was the most extravagant revelation of the nature of grace—generously, outrageously poured out upon all at the cost of his life. The religious authorities thought that they were making an irrefutable accusation when they berated Jesus for eating and associating with sinners. In fact, they were paying him the highest accolade. They were scandalized by his life, disgusted by his disregard for social convention, appalled by his attitude to people they had dismissed as beyond the reach of God’s love. Like the elder brother in the story of the Prodigal Son, they failed to realize that their pride and self-sufficiency put them farther away from God than any immoral act. The Salvation Army was once the scandalous part of the Church. Edward Joy’s book, The Old Corps, tells the story of the parish clergyman from the fishing quarter of the town who sent a message to the Salvation Army captain to ask “whether the peace of our town is to be disturbed night after night for a bastard flag that represents nothing and nobody.” He ran out of words to describe the offence that was the early day Salvation Army. Let’s Get Serious What would it take for us to be a scandal of God’s grace in our age? We’ll have to care passionately about the 12- and 13-year-old girls being sold into sexual slavery. We’ll have to become a nuisance to our governments by telling them that we are less concerned about our privileges, taxes and cheaper gasoline, and more concerned about how much money they are giving to developing countries and how they are addressing injustice around the world. We’ll need to get serious about the obscenity of the arms industry. The World Health Organization estimates that in the 20th century 191 million people died as a result of armed conflict. The money that the U.S.A. has spent on armaments since the Second World War is the equivalent to $26 million a day since the birth of Christ. It was General Eisenhower who said that every military plane we put in the sky and every bomb that we drop represents a theft from those who were hungry and need to be clothed. It’s time the Evangelical conscience was stabbed with things like that. What about asylum seekers who come to our country looking for help, and are turned away by respectable people? Let’s be willing to be unpopular for people in desperate need. The truth about God’s people is that they too were strangers in a foreign land. We were no people and God made us a people. I believe in the sanctity and beauty of lifelong heterosexual marriage, but if all we do is criticize the gay community, the last place homosexual people will come for understanding and help is the Church. I want to say to people like that: “If you’re gay, then come and we’ll work together, because in our church we’ve got gossips, gluttons and people that hold bitterness and resentment. What would it take to change the conscience of our Evangelical brothers and sisters in order to reach out to the gay community? I’d love to be part of a Salvation Army like that. I want to live scandalously. I’m fed up with low-level Christian living. I’m tired of a Salvation Army that everybody speaks well of. I long for the days when people see us as dangerous, as an irritant, as a cause for complaint. The truth is you won’t be about to truly live scandalously until you’ve been a recipient of God’s grace. Mother Teresa wrote: “By blood and origin I am an Albanian. My citizenship is Indian. I am a Catholic nun. As to my calling, I belong to the world. But as to my heart, I belong entirely to the heart of Jesus.” What about you? Can you say the same? Does your heart belong to a scandalous Jesus?

95 Theses (Martin Luther)

Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg, under the presidency of the Reverend Father Martin Luther, Master of Arts and of Sacred Theology, and Lecturer in Ordinary on the same at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.

In the Name our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

1. Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He said Poenitentiam agite, willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.

2. This word cannot be understood to mean sacramental penance, i.e., confession and satisfaction, which is administered by the priests.

3. Yet it means not inward repentance only; nay, there is no inward repentance which does not outwardly work divers mortifications of the flesh.

4. The penalty [of sin], therefore, continues so long as hatred of self continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.

5. The pope does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority or by that of the Canons.

6. The pope cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by God and by assenting to God's remission; though, to be sure, he may grant remission in cases reserved to his judgment. If his right to grant remission in such cases were despised, the guilt would remain entirely unforgiven.

7. God remits guilt to no one whom He does not, at the same time, humble in all things and bring into subjection to His vicar, the priest.

8. The penitential canons are imposed only on the living, and, according to them, nothing should be imposed on the dying.

9. Therefore the Holy Spirit in the pope is kind to us, because in his decrees he always makes exception of the article of death and of necessity.

10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those priests who, in the case of the dying, reserve canonical penances for purgatory.

11. This changing of the canonical penalty to the penalty of purgatory is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while the bishops slept.

12. In former times the canonical penalties were imposed not after, but before absolution, as tests of true contrition.

13. The dying are freed by death from all penalties; they are already dead to canonical rules, and have a right to be released from them.

14. The imperfect health [of soul], that is to say, the imperfect love, of the dying brings with it, of necessity, great fear; and the smaller the love, the greater is the fear.

15. This fear and horror is sufficient of itself alone (to say nothing of other things) to constitute the penalty of purgatory, since it is very near to the horror of despair.

16. Hell, purgatory, and heaven seem to differ as do despair, almost-despair, and the assurance of safety.

17. With souls in purgatory it seems necessary that horror should grow less and love increase.

18. It seems unproved, either by reason or Scripture, that they are outside the state of merit, that is to say, of increasing love.

19. Again, it seems unproved that they, or at least that all of them, are certain or assured of their own blessedness, though we may be quite certain of it.

20. Therefore by "full remission of all penalties" the pope means not actually "of all," but only of those imposed by himself.

21. Therefore those preachers of indulgences are in error, who say that by the pope's indulgences a man is freed from every penalty, and saved;

22. Whereas he remits to souls in purgatory no penalty which, according to the canons, they would have had to pay in this life.

23. If it is at all possible to grant to any one the remission of all penalties whatsoever, it is certain that this remission can be granted only to the most perfect, that is, to the very fewest.

24. It must needs be, therefore, that the greater part of the people are deceived by that indiscriminate and highsounding promise of release from penalty.

25. The power which the pope has, in a general way, over purgatory, is just like the power which any bishop or curate has, in a special way, within his own diocese or parish.

26. The pope does well when he grants remission to souls [in purgatory], not by the power of the keys (which he does not possess), but by way of intercession.

27. They preach man who say that so soon as the penny jingles into the money-box, the soul flies out [of purgatory].

28. It is certain that when the penny jingles into the money-box, gain and avarice can be increased, but the result of the intercession of the Church is in the power of God alone.

29. Who knows whether all the souls in purgatory wish to be bought out of it, as in the legend of Sts. Severinus and Paschal.

30. No one is sure that his own contrition is sincere; much less that he has attained full remission.

31. Rare as is the man that is truly penitent, so rare is also the man who truly buys indulgences, i.e., such men are most rare.

32. They will be condemned eternally, together with their teachers, who believe themselves sure of their salvation because they have letters of pardon.

33. Men must be on their guard against those who say that the pope's pardons are that inestimable gift of God by which man is reconciled to Him;

34. For these "graces of pardon" concern only the penalties of sacramental satisfaction, and these are appointed by man.

35. They preach no Christian doctrine who teach that contrition is not necessary in those who intend to buy souls out of purgatory or to buy confessionalia.

36. Every truly repentant Christian has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without letters of pardon.

37. Every true Christian, whether living or dead, has part in all the blessings of Christ and the Church; and this is granted him by God, even without letters of pardon.

38. Nevertheless, the remission and participation [in the blessings of the Church] which are granted by the pope are in no way to be despised, for they are, as I have said, the declaration of divine remission.

39. It is most difficult, even for the very keenest theologians, at one and the same time to commend to the people the abundance of pardons and [the need of] true contrition.

40. True contrition seeks and loves penalties, but liberal pardons only relax penalties and cause them to be hated, or at least, furnish an occasion [for hating them].

41. Apostolic pardons are to be preached with caution, lest the people may falsely think them preferable to other good works of love.

42. Christians are to be taught that the pope does not intend the buying of pardons to be compared in any way to works of mercy.

43. Christians are to be taught that he who gives to the poor or lends to the needy does a better work than buying pardons;

44. Because love grows by works of love, and man becomes better; but by pardons man does not grow better, only more free from penalty.

45. Christians are to be taught that he who sees a man in need, and passes him by, and gives [his money] for pardons, purchases not the indulgences of the pope, but the indignation of God.

46. Christians are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pardons.

47. Christians are to be taught that the buying of pardons is a matter of free will, and not of commandment.

48. Christians are to be taught that the pope, in granting pardons, needs, and therefore desires, their devout prayer for him more than the money they bring.

49. Christians are to be taught that the pope's pardons are useful, if they do not put their trust in them; but altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of God.

50. Christians are to be taught that if the pope knew the exactions of the pardon-preachers, he would rather that St. Peter's church should go to ashes, than that it should be built up with the skin, flesh and bones of his sheep.

51. Christians are to be taught that it would be the pope's wish, as it is his duty, to give of his own money to very many of those from whom certain hawkers of pardons cajole money, even though the church of St. Peter might have to be sold.

52. The assurance of salvation by letters of pardon is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though the pope himself, were to stake his soul upon it.

53. They are enemies of Christ and of the pope, who bid the Word of God be altogether silent in some Churches, in order that pardons may be preached in others.

54. Injury is done the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on pardons than on this Word.

55. It must be the intention of the pope that if pardons, which are a very small thing, are celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.

56. The "treasures of the Church," out of which the pope. grants indulgences, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of Christ.

57. That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.

58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the Saints, for even without the pope, these always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward man.

59. St. Lawrence said that the treasures of the Church were the Church's poor, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.

60. Without rashness we say that the keys of the Church, given by Christ's merit, are that treasure;

61. For it is clear that for the remission of penalties and of reserved cases, the power of the pope is of itself sufficient.

62. The true treasure of the Church is the Most Holy Gospel of the glory and the grace of God.

63. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last.

64. On the other hand, the treasure of indulgences is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the last to be first.

65. Therefore the treasures of the Gospel are nets with which they formerly were wont to fish for men of riches.

66. The treasures of the indulgences are nets with which they now fish for the riches of men.

67. The indulgences which the preachers cry as the "greatest graces" are known to be truly such, in so far as they promote gain.

68. Yet they are in truth the very smallest graces compared with the grace of God and the piety of the Cross.

69. Bishops and curates are bound to admit the commissaries of apostolic pardons, with all reverence.

70. But still more are they bound to strain all their eyes and attend with all their ears, lest these men preach their own dreams instead of the commission of the pope.

71. He who speaks against the truth of apostolic pardons, let him be anathema and accursed!

72. But he who guards against the lust and license of the pardon-preachers, let him be blessed!

73. The pope justly thunders against those who, by any art, contrive the injury of the traffic in pardons.

74. But much more does he intend to thunder against those who use the pretext of pardons to contrive the injury of holy love and truth.

75. To think the papal pardons so great that they could absolve a man even if he had committed an impossible sin and violated the Mother of God -- this is madness.

76. We say, on the contrary, that the papal pardons are not able to remove the very least of venial sins, so far as its guilt is concerned.

77. It is said that even St. Peter, if he were now Pope, could not bestow greater graces; this is blasphemy against St. Peter and against the pope.

78. We say, on the contrary, that even the present pope, and any pope at all, has greater graces at his disposal; to wit, the Gospel, powers, gifts of healing, etc., as it is written in I. Corinthians xii.

79. To say that the cross, emblazoned with the papal arms, which is set up [by the preachers of indulgences], is of equal worth with the Cross of Christ, is blasphemy.

80. The bishops, curates and theologians who allow such talk to be spread among the people, will have an account to render.

81. This unbridled preaching of pardons makes it no easy matter, even for learned men, to rescue the reverence due to the pope from slander, or even from the shrewd questionings of the laity.

82. To wit: -- "Why does not the pope empty purgatory, for the sake of holy love and of the dire need of the souls that are there, if he redeems an infinite number of souls for the sake of miserable money with which to build a Church? The former reasons would be most just; the latter is most trivial."

83. Again: -- "Why are mortuary and anniversary masses for the dead continued, and why does he not return or permit the withdrawal of the endowments founded on their behalf, since it is wrong to pray for the redeemed?"

84. Again: -- "What is this new piety of God and the pope, that for money they allow a man who is impious and their enemy to buy out of purgatory the pious soul of a friend of God, and do not rather, because of that pious and beloved soul's own need, free it for pure love's sake?"

85. Again: -- "Why are the penitential canons long since in actual fact and through disuse abrogated and dead, now satisfied by the granting of indulgences, as though they were still alive and in force?"

86. Again: -- "Why does not the pope, whose wealth is to-day greater than the riches of the richest, build just this one church of St. Peter with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers?"

87. Again: -- "What is it that the pope remits, and what participation does he grant to those who, by perfect contrition, have a right to full remission and participation?"

88. Again: -- "What greater blessing could come to the Church than if the pope were to do a hundred times a day what he now does once, and bestow on every believer these remissions and participations?"

89. "Since the pope, by his pardons, seeks the salvation of souls rather than money, why does he suspend the indulgences and pardons granted heretofore, since these have equal efficacy?"

90. To repress these arguments and scruples of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the Church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Christians unhappy.

91. If, therefore, pardons were preached according to the spirit and mind of the pope, all these doubts would be readily resolved; nay, they would not exist.

92. Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, "Peace, peace," and there is no peace!

93. Blessed be all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, "Cross, cross," and there is no cross!

94. Christians are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, deaths, and hell;

95. And thus be confident of entering into heaven rather through many tribulations, than through the assurance of peace.

on and on and on........in Vegas

Sep 14 (cont): After a torturously long trip from the Stratosphere ---> Harrah's, we meet up with Jenny's Aunt Lynn & Uncle Mal and eat at Toby Kieth's 'I love This Bar & Grill'. I had a pulled pork sandwich and it was pretty sweet. Then we crossed the street to Caesar's Palace and ate at The Cheesecake Factory!! Yeah!! This was our 1st Cheesecake Factory experience, and it did not disappoint. We were all pretty tired after that, and headed home to bed.
Sep 15: We got up and did our 3rd (and last!) timeshare presentation. Our pickup was scheduled for 12pm at Circus Circus and we were told it was to be a two hour presentation. Our bait: $100 cash and a $25 restaurant voucher. From start to finish, the experience lasted 4 hrs, and when our manager realized we were not there to buy, he was extremely rude to us and took a couple of shots at the fact we were ministers. During the presentation he even used a story of the death of his mother to try and sweeten the timeshare experience! There certainly are some disgusting people here in the world, even in Vegas, weird! Over and over they kept saying, "We don't sell our product, our product sells itself!" Yet they tried pretty damn hard to sell their product to us! Even going as far as using the "health and wealth" doctrine to try and lure us in! This company (which I refrain from using their name so that they may not get even more business or website views, etc) has ruined our timeshare experience and we definitely will NOT be going to another. Thats ok though, because we already aquired 2 shows, 3 all-u-can-eat buffets, a $25 food voucher, a 2 for 1 buffet, and $100 cash! Not bad, although that is time we will never ever ever get back.
After that horrendous event, we walked up to the Tropicana for a buffet supper, and then walked back down to Planet Hollywood for 'V: The Ultimate Variety Show', our first show in Vegas. It was good, but I'm glad we didn't actually pay for the tickets; it wasn't THAT good.
On our way home, we talked with Micheal, who was a Vietnam veteran. Mike lost his right arm in the war, is now confined to a wheelchair, and is almost unintelligible. The rest of his story is hard to completely believe; but the man loves Jesus and chooses to believe (in the midst of his hardship) that Jesus loves him more than anything. We gave him some change and let him pray for us.
Sep 16: Cruised around to more hotel/casinos, seen an awesome water fountain show at the Bellagio, ate some great food at Paris Las Vegas, and talked with more homeless people. We also went and seen magician Steve Wyrick at Planet Hollywood. He was really good, but not good enough to pay for, in my opinion.
Today: Went and seen The Venetian, which has canals running through the hotel complete with gondolas! Then we went and seen some lions at the MGM Grand. We also ate at the Monte Carlo. We also went and checked out Hooters.
This evening we were picked up by Jan Kluever and we went to a church and helped out with feeding the homeless. A ministry called Amazing Grace feeds the homeless every wednesday. Tonight we fed about 150 people and after that, 10 stayed around for a church service. The percentage that stayed was disappointing, but we believe for revival in Vegas to start from the bottom, which it does.
Tomorrow is our last day in Vegas before we head back to Canada. It has been a great honeymoon, but we both look forward to getting to the Island, and making further plans for Cambodia.
Oh, and I just raided Joy Waide's photo collection from Vegas and got a lot more wedding photos. Check out our complete wedding photo collection -->HERE<--.

since last post (Las Vegas)

Lots to tell:
Sep 11: We rent a car and cruise 20 miles to Red Rock Canyon to see the desert and do a wee bit of hiking. Red Rock Canyon was absolutely awesome. Highly recommended. To see the full set of pictures from Red Rock Canyon, click -->HERE<--. We rested upon return and in the evening Jenny, I and Heymans cruised down the strip to check out Caesar's Palace, and the MGM Grand. Caesar's is so far the most impressive place we've been to, and the MGM Grand is the 2nd biggest hotel/casino in the States! BIG!

Sep 12: We take Heymans to the airport and he is off to Bethel. Las Vegas drivers are crazy! Not to mention a little impatient; settle down everyone. A bit later, Jenny & I toured Circus Circus and caught an amazing juggling act; I mean, this guy was the best juggler I've ever seen. Then we met 3 homeless people and chatted with them for 30 minutes or so. I love talking with homeless people, their stories are so interesting. We hope to meet up with them again.

Sep 13: Someone approaches us on the Strip (a common occurance here in Vegas) and asks us if we would be willing to give up a few hours of our time to come see a presentation and take a tour of the Grandview Resort, in exchange for an All-U-Can-Eat Buffet at the Excalibur, and 2 tickets to 'V'. It was long and boring, but we got to have a great discussion with a manager about Jesus and stuff, it was sweet. After that we checked out the Luxor, then had our salvation confirmed by a random preist on the Strip whom we got to pray for us. Then we did another presentation with Vacation Network Inc in exchange for 2 tickets to Steve Wyrick, 2 All-U-Can-Eat Buffets at the Tropicana, and a 2 for 1 buffet at Monte Carlo. Great deal. So we got 2 shows lined up for this week! Nice. We have been trying to scam some Cirque de Soleil tickets for free, but have had NO luck with that.

Today we went to the First Presbyterian Church of Las Vegas and were invited back to the house of Jack & Jan Kluever. Jack actually worked on the Lunar Landing Research Vehicle (LLRV) and was a test pilot for NASA and the US Army. They fed us tacos and were so nice to us. Their house was awesome (see the pics in our Vegas album -->HERE<--). We also met the Pastor, Rev Jim Houston-Hencken, who wants us to keep in touch and maybe be a contact while we're in Cambodia. He has some interest in digging wells over there. God puts things in place rather well.

Tonight we are going to Harrah's for supper with Jenny's aunt and uncle. 

For more of our wedding pics, click -->HERE<--.

A Las Vegas Drive-Thru Wedding (9/9/08)

We landed in Vegas on teusday at 1:30pm. Immediately, we went to the Stratosphere where Paul Adams and Joy Waide (our witnesses) met us. Joy went with Jenny as she got her hair done, while Paul came with me to check in. The limo picked us up at around 5pm and we went to get me fitted for a tux, then to the courthouse to get a marriage license, then to The Little White Wedding Chapel for our wedding. The whole ceremony was over in less than 6 minutes!! (Enjoy the video of our wedding below! And for more pics of our wedding, click -->HERE<--) The limo took us back to the Stratosphere where we had a "reception dinner" at Fellini's. Then we parted ways with Paul and Joy.
Neither of us were nervous in any way. We did have butterflies on the plane, but as the time grew nearer and nearer, those nerves settled out and gratefulness and joy replaced them. To think back over the two years I've known Jenny, and to have stood in that place (out the sunroof of a limo!) was a feeling I pray I will never forget. We have been through a rollercoaster ride with each other, and now we stand as one; man and wife; the Duffy's.
Today was another special day, as Josh Heymans (in transit to Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry) flew in for two days with us. I have amazing friends.
I don't really know what else to say. I am so happy to be married to Jenny. We have entered into a very intimate covenant relationship with God that neither of us has a grid for. The future is His, as are we.

over 10,000 visitors!! (or, HOLY CRAP, I'M GETTIN MARRIED TOMORROW!!)

It's true! Yesterday this blog hit 10,000 visitors. I started this one in Jan/06 and have enjoyed keeping everyone informed as to my whereabouts and stuff. Thanks for checking in on me.
My trip to Windsor has been pretty quiet. I have researched and emailed potential contacts in Cambodia, phoned people I needed to be in contact with, watched tennis, Watched Anchorman twice, and just plain relaxed. Jenny & I are really excited with the prospect of heading to Cambodia in october rather than january.
And tomorrow at 10pm, we are flying to Vegas for our wedding/honeymoon. It's gonna be hot! Today it's like 40C/104F!! Tomorrow (when we arrive) it should be a cool 38C/100F! Yikes. Thats crazy.
It's all hitting me about how un-stressed I am about the wedding. All we have to do is.......show up. It's sweet. No planning this extravagant thing that eats up money we don't have. I'm sure there are some people who don't quite understand what we're doing, but I'm hoping they can have a more active part in our marriage, rather than our wedding. 'We' think the marriage (rest of our lives) is slightly more important than the wedding (30 minutes). People should be used to this sort of thing from me by now.
So, today is my last day of singlehood. Actually it's not. When Jenny & I got together I felt as if we already committed to each other. There was no "testing the waters", so to speak. Marriage was inevitable.
We commit our life to You Lord.

bye St Kits. hello Windsor

Jenny and I have finished up in St Kits and have moved on. We completed our premarital counseling with the Woodwards, and we got LOTS of running around done. I got to eat at my favorite restaurant in St Catharines, Sahla Thai, for my birthday. And, we got our wedding bands tattooed on us!! Sweet!

Early wednesday morning, Pastor Geo dropped us off at the bus terminal and we cruised'er the 390KM to Windsor. Jenny's Dad picked us up and we started doing some running around. That evening, some of Jenny's family/friends had a potluck for us. Thursday, we did more running around and met with some people who Jenny wanted to see while here. Yesterday, Jenny and her Dad flew from London to Saskatchewan to attend Jessica's wedding. She will be back here monday morning. This is actually the first day I haven't seen Jenny since Dec 28th/07. Thats crazy.

So, I am housesitting (and cat-sitting) for the weekend. I have lots of research to do, and emails to write, and people to call, and tennis to watch, and sermons to listen to! 

And only 3 days to go before Vegas!!

I leave you with a good quote:

There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. Some emergent types [want] to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy Zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelation, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up. I fear some are becoming more cultural than Christian, and without a big Jesus who has authority and hates sin as revealed in the Bible, we will have less and less Christians, and more and more confused, spiritually self-righteous blogger critics of Christianity.

—Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church

return to the Manorites

If you have kept up with this blog at all in the last year, you'll know that some of my friends and I regularly ministered at Scott Manor. Leaving this wonderful place was hard when Jenny & I travelled to PEI and NY for the summer, but necessary. On teusday (in the midst of our St Catharines visit) we made time to return to the Manor and visit with these people who had become so dear to us. We gathered about 10 or so Manorites (a name we have tagged on them) and shared about our summer, and they shared about their summer, and we shared Scripture, and then we prayed.
We were worried that there would be no Spiritual care for these people after we left, but we were happy to learn that a Pastor from Central Gospel visits the manor bi-weekly to minister. That is a huge relief to us. We knew our ministry there was only temporary, but we did (and still do) have a responsibility to them.
We learned that Eddie suffered a massive heart attack and was currently in a coma-like state at the hospital. Jenny & I went to ICU and were able to pray over this great and kind man. I remember the first sunday I was back in St Catharines after returning from Africa/Russia last year; Eddie spontaneously got up and emptied his pockets (all $0.85), wanting to bless the children of Mozambique. It was the most memorable offering I have ever recieved.
So, we only had a couple hours with the Manorites, but they filled us with joy. It was such a treat for us (and them as well) to be able to surprise them with a visit. We pray for them, and they for us. We pray we will be able to return again some day, and have more amazing testimony about the road God has taken us all.

St Catharines

Mama Deane dropped us off at the Newport News airport on friday, but, we were running a wee bit late and missed our plane. We caught another one 2 hous later, but were delayed an hour and a half in Philadelphia, which meant we were gonna miss our shuttle from Buffalo --> St Kits. We booked another shuttle and finally got on our plane. Then, we were delayed on the runway for an hour, meaning we would miss our rescheduled shuttle. Finally we took off and a half hour into our flight, we smelt smoke in the cabin! The cabin told us not to worry about it and since we were ONLY an hour away from Buffalo we would go on. I see?! We made it, but, once again, missed our shuttle so we had to take a later one. T'was all good though. We made it back to St Catharines, where the Woodwards have graciously offered to provide accomodations for us and take us through premarital counseling.
So, we are back in St Kits. Saturday, we did some counseling, then some running around, and then we went to Hamilton to attend an under-the-tent meeting. Yesterday (my 31st birthday) we went o a couple services at NCC where Steve McVey was speaking. Wow, never mind. We broke up the services with visiting Peter & Julie Karanfilis, booking an appointment to get our get our wedding bands tattooed, and a supper at Sahla Thai. Last night we hung out with Sheri Smith. Today we do LOTS of premarital counseling, and at 6pm we should be getting tattoed!!