Duffy's back on the Island...........

............but, is that a good thing? I think so. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's good to see friends and family, but I feel very uneasy about being home again. I absolutely love my family, and I totally know that God has brought me back here for a reason, even if it's for just a short time, but. It's an almost surreal feeling. It may sound harsh and cold, but it's just what it is. The last couple days in St Catharines were ones of immense intensity. I normally don't mind 'good-byes'; it's something that I have never had a hard thing doing. It was different this time. I had a time of prayer at the Vine with Earl, Kyle, and the Brown's on thursday night that has literally been unmatched in passion/intensity in my life. I left feeling incredibly heavy; drained. I said that I would not want many of those experiences to happen again (but would I?). The prayers prayed were ones of laid down desperation. Prayers that 'Christians' would like to pray, but don't really have the guts, or the belief, to. Not that we did either, but we were desperate for God to take away all of our peace apart from His will. Prayers that say, "Lord, give us no peace, no rest, no joy even, apart from Your will." Prayers like this aren't the glorious 'hallelujah' type we here in the west are accustomed to. They are born out of a soul's unequal hunger to be broken for the things that God's heart are broken over. These prayers hurt, and they're supposed to. A revivalist once said something to this effect: God makes things out of nothing. So until a man is nothing God cannot make something out of him. Thats hardcore. In this mindset, we bravely/stupidly pray, not knowing the dire consequences it will have on our life, our conscience, our decisions. Really though, is there any other way? There is, but it doesnt lead through the narrow gate, it leads through the wide one. I would like to have the time here on PEI to be introspective, but I simply don't. Maybe thats a good thing. There are some things in my mind now that are better not to think of.

In extrospect, Heymans dropped me off at the Toronto Airport this afternoon and I flew back to PEI. My mom and step dad, aunt, and brother, step sis, and nephew were all at the Charlottetown Airport to welcome me. I visited Danny on the way to Mom's and he insisted I drive his LeBaron convertible for a few days, and gave me some money to even gas it up. I am loved, and it's humbling. Sometimes thinking about how much God has blessed me, it's hard not to cry. Passion is burning in me right now, it's reaching a fever pitch. Times like this have been few, but they have been there nonetheless. Something immense has been birthed in these times in the past, but this time........? Potential; a big word. Can I tarry? I pray I can. Lord, help me. Strengthen me.