back in St Kits

A word I've been using to describe being home(?) is "surreal". And that's what it actually seems like. It seems like I could wake up from this dream of being home (?) at any moment. It feels incredibly strange. Much has happened in 5 months, and being back dramtically illustrates this fact.

After a marathon Russia --> Paris --> Amsterdam --> London --> Toronto, 44hr trip home, Heymans picked me up and drove me back here to St Catharines. My bag ( and most of the possessions I have in this world) are stuck in Paris, and I have no idea when (or if) I'll ever see them again. I honestly don't really care though. If my happiness depends on material things, then I'm in a worse position than the poeple whom I try to minister to.

So, here I am. Staying with Heymans and trying to figure out what to do next. Heidi Baker is ministering at TACF this weekend, so that is a definite. But other than that, I'm completely oblivious as to what comes next.

I realize that I am so dependant on God for absolutely everything in my life. It is a wonderful feeling, but not comforting (in a worldly sense). I'm having trouble thinking accurately.

This past sunday I went to Niagara Celebration Church where Joesph Prince was ministering. It was good, but I'll hold my tongue. Then a group of us went to Scott Street Manor (which is a home to the less fortunate who are not able to funtion and live in a way such as we are blessed to be able to) to hold a service. It was awesome. 13 of them congregated in a sitting room and we sang songs about Jesus, and I got to share about the poor in Africa whom Jesus gives gives hope to, and then we sang a bit more and prayed. During my short exhortation, a gentleman interrupted me long enough to empty his pockets and give an offering to my missions work; it was 17 nickels / $0.85! How awesome is that?! I love it! After the Scott Street Manor service, I went to Shaver Hospital and went room to room singing hyms, talking, and praying with people. Another awesome experience.

Then I went back to NCC for an evening service with Joesph Prince but found it so boring that I had to leave.

Why is church so boring? If Holy Spirit was as much a part of church as we claim, it would be a lot more fun! Wouldn't it?

Anyways, I still need prayer. Just pray for me. That would be cool.

And I thought Mozambique --> Russia was bad!!

It's true, the Russia --> Canada leg is proving to be just as bad. Today I sorrowfully left St Petersburg and thought I was gonna be too late to make check in. I made it though, with help from my Russian lawyer! I said goodbye and thank you to Anya, who has proven to be one of the most amazing and generous people I have ever met. Blessings to her.

So, I fly to Paris and have to take 3 buses and a train to get to my departure terminal! After waiting there for about 1.5 hrs, they tell us Air France is on strike and the flight is cancelled!! After another 2 hour wait in line, I am told that I have to fly to Amsterdam, then to London, then to Toronto! What?! I agree, cause I have little choice at this point, and wait even longer to fly to Amsterdam. But guess what...............the flight to Amsterdam is delayed for an hour and that means I miss my connecting flight to London. In Amsterdam they tell me I will not make a connecting flight to London this night and I will be staying the night at the NH Shiphol Hotel, at the expense of KLM Airlines. Not bad.

So here I am in Amsterdam for the night. It has been almost 7 years since I have been here, and I have changed much. I just ate my complimentary all-u-can-eat buffetand will try again tomorrow to fly home. What a journey. What a 5 months. What a life. Whoever thinks a life dedicated to Jesus is boring better dedicate themselves a bit more; they'll soon learn different.

And I am surely grieved to be leaving Russia, by the way. I've a feeling this re-entry period will be hard; it already is.

the scoop

1 day to go. I have some pretty extreme mixed feelings about ending my 5 month long trip. I do not know just what to think. God is good, and His mercy does indeed endure forever. Tomorrow morning I fly out of St Petersburg and into Toronto. After visiting friends in St Catharines, I will return to Prince Edward Island and really start seeking some direction again. What to do in 2008? THAT, is a darn good question.

I was ministering at 2 hospitals last saturday. First, Анюта and I went to a hospice and ministered to a couple of ladies who had been given very short time to live. It was hard to not cry while talking to these ladies. The first lady just wanted God to give her enough time so that she could work in her garden again and spend a bit more time with her grand-daughter. Oh, the things we take for granted in this life. In our busyness we pass by the things we deem most important, when we look back at the end of our lives. T'is sad.
Then we went back to the hospital from last week and were able to follow up with a couple people whom we had previously ministered too. They were happy to see us and so thankful for the gifts we brought. I am amazed at the things we take for granted. I am ashamed. It hurts.

Last night we got to go to a professional tennis match. Youzhny defeated Gimelstob in straight sets. At times I felt uneasy. I need to stop writing now.................it isn't safe to continue.

очень, even!

My time in St Petersburg lately has been filled with spending time with Jesus and trying to learn this difficult language. I am making headway, but it is so slow and frustrating. It is so hard for me being here but not being able to minister to people like I would back in an english speaking country. Maybe God has set this time up so that I would humble myself and be dependant upon others? Может быть?

On the 11th Анюта and her dad took me to the ballet!!!!? IT WASN'T MY FAULT!! The tickets were bought before I could make a decision about it!! So, I seen the St Petersburg presentation of the amazing extravaganza of Sleeping Beauty! It was BRUTAL!! I almost threw myself from the balcony seats where we were sitting unto the crowd of poor interested people below! And the thing was over 3 hours long!! OH MY GOD!!! The next day I did get to go to the Hermitage Museum (which is one of the most impressive and largest museums in the world) and see A LOT of paintings. I was there for about 4 hours and seen about 2% of the whole building! It's HUGE!!

Last night though may have been one of the best times in Russia that I've had. A group from the church Анюта attends took us to a local hospital to pray and minister to some sick people. It was a lesson in love. Hospital ministry is one of my favorite things to do. We were able to minister love and peace to these dear people who were obviously in need of it. Анюта and I will return on saturday (tomorrow) to follow up on thise we ministered to, and to take some practical things that they are in need of. We also get to go to another hospital to take hope where there is little. I expect another mighty move of God in the hearts of people who know Him not, or who know Him little. By the time we leave I want them to know Him much more.

Where is the God of Elisha?

I posed that question to God today. I wondered to Him, "Just where is the God of Elisha? The God who made axe heads float (2Ki 6:4-7), who made oil multiply (2Ki 4:3-7), who raised the dead (2Ki 4:32-35), who cured lepers (2Ki 5:8-14), who purified poisoned food (2Ki 4:38-41), who manipulated animals (2Ki 2:23-24), who parted waters (2Ki 2:14), who surrounded the righteous with armies of heaven (2Ki 6:17-18), who gives unerringly prophetic insight, who has power over death itself (2Ki 13:20-21)."

We cry out for the God of 'personal-miracles' everyday, to show Himself strong in our lives. We plead with Him for the miracles witnessed by the Old Testament saints. We desire the miracles more than we desire compassion for the lost. How can it be? Theirin lies the answer.............and the problem.

I felt God give me a reply; an unsettling one. I believe He said, "You ask me where is the God of Elisha? But I ask you, 'Where are the Elisha's?'"

And where are we? The first time Elisha is mentioned in the Bible is in 1Kings 19:16 where God tells Elijah to go anoint him as prophet. Just 3 verses later Elijah finds him (1Ki 19:19). Elisha was just living his life, but in just one short verse he gave up everything he had to fulfill the call of God on his life (1Ki 19:19-21). Where are we who would do that today? Elisha was unwaveringly obedient to God even when it hurt. His dedication and consecration were second to none. He spoke to kings and rulers out of the integrity of his relationship with God. How many of us can God trust to do that today? Our motives?

Elisha paid a high price to see the things God did through him. He didn't have to do anything (it appears) to get the calling, but to keep it.........thats a different story, one that Elijah could tell better than I (1Ki 19). Great sacrifice to God always produces fruit. In the same equation; sacrifice + fruit = joy. Sacrifice isn't really hard, when we want to please Him who is worthy. Then, it ceases to be "sacrifice" and ends up being "willingness". I don't want materialism to rob me of the true riches of the Kingdom. Neither did Elisha (1Ki 19:20-21).

The God of Elisha is still around; but where have the Elisha's gone..........................?

notes from Matthew 13:44

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. (Matthew 13:44 NASB)

Adam Clarke's (1762-1832) Commentary on the Bible

We should consider the salvation of God,
1. As our only treasure, and value it above all the riches of the world.
2. Search for it in the Scriptures, till we fully understand it's worth and excellence.
3. Deeply ponder it in the secret of our souls.
4. Part with all we have in order to get it.
5. Place our whole joy and felicity in it; and
6. Be always convinced that it must be bought, and that no price is accepted for it but the blood of the covenant; the sufferings and death of our only Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Geneva Bible Translation Notes (1599)

Few men understand how great the riches of the kingdom of heaven are, and that no man can be a partaker of them but he that redeems them with the loss of all his goods.

Matthew Henry (1662-1714)

Though nothing can be given as a price for this salvation, yet much must be given up for the sake of it.

For many are called, but few are chosen.

(Matthew 22:14 NASB)

6 yrs old, and back to Grade 3

Another week has flew by and it's amazing at how fast time actually slips away on us. Mother Teresa has said: Yesterday has gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

Last friday was one of those 'one of a kind' days that you don't get many of in this life. I woke up early, as I had been invited by a friend of a friend to sit in with a grade 3 class at a local school in downtown St Petersburg to immerse myself in some Russian culture. Upon driving to the school I was kind of nervous and not knowing what to expect cause the entire day was to be in Russian and I was afraid that the kids would think it very uncomfortable to have me (a thirty year old) sitting in class with them. As soon as they seen me they ALL ran over and began practicing their limited english on me, and taking pictures of me, and shaking my hand, etc. It was hilarious. They offered their chairs to me, and their books during class. One little girl (Sasha) gave me 3 rubles for lunch. Another little girl gave me a snack bar to eat. Nastya even gave me her phone number!!? Over and over, they made me things, continually involved me in the class, went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and communicate with me, and shared the Gospel to me without using words. 3 of them even walked me to the door when the day was over. It was awesome. I loved the day. They even asked the teacher if I would return another day. And on thursday I will return to that class to participate in a field trip to a local art museum. I cannot wait.

In other events, I am now 6 years old. Yesterday marked a 6 year milestone of my walk with God. 6 years............. it's amazing how faithful and pastoral God is. For my birthday, Анюта ( pronounced Annoota; but I call her Annushka) took me around the city to see some of the sights. She took me to St Isaac's Cathedral, and the Church of the Savior on Blood; both of which were absolutely amazing. It twas a great day indeed. Очень even.

notes from Mark 3

1 - 6 Jesus completely breaks a rule. He goes against what is written in the Law. He's teaching them that it's not about rules. God is "love", He's not "Law" (rules). The people who knew and and tried to keep the Law were offended at Jesus because He knew the rules weren't what God intended; they weren't His best. Relationship trumps rules. Even if we make what the Apostle Paul says, binding, then we are missing the whole point of what God wants for us. It brings God no more glory when we keep all the rules as when we don't. It brings God glory when we simply love Him and seek to please Him from that love.

7-8 How many of us can say that multitudes from every area around us flock to us because of what they have heard about us? Are we not the fragrance of Christ in this earth of trash and filth? We need to just stop and to let God love us. Then, we are changed, and we freely give as we have been given to. Everything He has given us, we are then prepared and eager to give away, joyously.

9-10 Jesus needed an escape route!! People were so desperate for Him that He planned get away routes. Crazy.